It all seemed so lovely when you asked your girlfriends and sisters to be your bridesmaids and accompany you on your big day.
They were so chuffed to be asked and so excited for you. But maybe things have moved on a little since then and, in the interim, you’ve had a few problems with one or two of your handy helpers. Let’s take a look at some of the most common bridesmaid dilemmas that arise with our best girls… And explain how to solve them!
The green-eyed monster
A bride-to-be has a certain glow about her in the build up to her wedding day (and it’s not just from rushing about organising things!) You’ll be excited about your big day, you’re probably eating healthily and exercising more so that you look amazing when you walk down the aisle and you’ve also got that warm feeling from knowing that you’re going to be married very soon to the man of your dreams.
So you might have to expect a bit of jealousy from a girlfriend that might surprise you. Maybe she’d also like to be married to her boyfriend but isn’t engaged or maybe she hasn’t got a partner at the moment. The sight of you happy and planning your future may be too much for her.
You might get comments like “you’ve lost too much weight, you look too thin” or alternatively “aren’t you going to lose some weight for your big day, you should you know.” Your dress might be criticised, the wedding plans you’re putting in place, your flowers, your venue – possibly even your fiancé.
She might also take much less interest than you’d expect – putting off dress shopping with you and not really listening when you talk about the flowers you’ve chosen and who you’ve invited.
We’d just say that you have to look at the big picture and take it all in your stride. Rise above it and be confident in your decisions. Also remember not to become a wedding ‘bore’. It is your big day and it is thrilling but have some other topics of conversation!
The patter of tiny feet
Yes, this happens more often than you might think. Although if you consider that many brides ask a girlfriend to be their maid of honour who’s a) been with a partner for a while b) made it known she wants children c) is at a time in her life when having a child just ‘fits’, then really you shouldn’t be surprised if she turns around and announces that she’s pregnant and might look quite large on your wedding day”.
Mrs Matthews 2B on our Forum had just this problem: “Hey all, I’ve just found out that not one but two of my bridesmaids are pregnant, and will be mummies to two month olds when I get married next year. The problem is that we’ve already bought the dresses (Monsoon sale bargain) and whilst I’ve managed to swap one dress for a bigger size, I haven’t been able to swap the other.”
Another Forum bride, Future MrsCGoodman, has the same issue but is adopting quite a calm approach. She said, “OMG, snap! My bridesmaid has just told me she is pregnant, due to give birth around Christmas time. Even though my wedding isn’t until July, she is already conscious of her weight and stressing out about getting back into shape for when we go dress shopping in the New Year! I have told her that she shouldn’t worry about it at all and that she will look wonderful whatever – she isn’t convinced!”
She also took a bit of pressure off the bridesmaid by saying “ I couldn’t believe how genuinely worried she was about losing the baby weight in time for dress shopping! Bless her. Our BMs will look gorgeous whatever.”
Whilst having an existing bridesmaid dress altered to fit is a good solution, you can also buy some very elegant maternity bridesmaid dresses. Take a look at the ones by Dessy, which come in a number of styles and 80 different colour choices.
If your pregnant chief bridemaid’s due date is around your wedding day, don’t depend too much on her being there. Babies have a mind of their own about when they decide to make an appearance so you’d better ask one of your other maids to be an understudy, ready to step in – just in case your chief bridesmaid gets busy!
Why not join in the conversation about pregnant bridesmaids on our Forum and see how other brides handled this issue?
I’m not wearing that!
So you want a co-ordinated look for your maids. You’ve searched for ages and you’ve found the perfect style to suit you and your day. The only problem is it doesn’t suit your bridesmaids – well, not all of them anyway.
Bridesmaids not liking what they are wearing is a common dilemma faced by many b2bs. There are a two main ways in which to tackle this. One – don’t buy anything until you’ve spoken to every girl individually about her likes and dislikes. This is the personalised way of making sure your bridesmaids feel confident in what they’ll be wearing on the day, but let’s face it, you might not have time!
Two – you buy a dress that can be adapted to suit every girl’s figure. This is the option we’d go for. Dessy, twobirds Bridesmaid, Impression Bridal and more now carry a range of wrap dresses that can be twisted to suit all types of figure.
Are your bridesmaids kicking up a fuss about what dresses they’ll be wearing? Are you taking their likes and dislikes into consideration? Are you making them pay for their own outfits? Come and chat with the team now on the Wedding Ideas Forum or find out more about what your girls should be doing in our Bridesmaids section.