Planning your wedding guest list can be stressful enough, without the added dilemma of whether to invite your ex or not. We teamed up with Chillisauce to bring you the best advice when it comes to inviting your ex partner, without offending your h2b.
A survey conducted by chillisauce.co.uk states that two thirds of couples admitted that they would invite their ex to their wedding, with men being twice as likely to do so. Chillisauce went onto the streets of London to find out what the public thought…
With statistics showing that many people are getting married later in life, this means that they are more likely to have long-term ex-partners who they are still amicable with. If you’re thinking about inviting your ex, take these pointers into account before popping the question!
Ask yourself why specifically you want that person at your wedding. Zelda West-Meads, relationship expert for the Daily Mail says: “Often people invite exes because they are part of a friendship network and if everyone else is going then why not invite them? It is not unusual to stay good friends with an ex partner, and inviting people to your wedding is a lovely gesture!”
Honestly is the best policy
Being completely honest with your other half is important from the very beginning, and the sooner you approach the subject, the better. Make him feel completely comfortable, and ensure that you aren’t demanding your ex has to come, but rather asking if he would be happy with the idea. “An ex might feel snubbed if they’re not invited, but in some cases, people may not have been invited to spare their feelings,” continues Zelda.
Make sure you think about how you and your ex ended, was it friendly? Was it recent? Worst case scenario is your ex ruining your big day by drinking far too much and saying something offensive. Anne Rettenberg, author and psychotherapist says: “People should only invite people to weddings if they think that person will be a positive presence at the wedding.”
There is a chance that your h2b will say no. It is as much your day as his, so it is only fair that you take his feelings into consideration! After all, your ex is an ex for a reason. Wedding planner, Roni Hyslop says: “Every case is individual, sometimes we have enough trouble when the couples’ parents are divorced or remarried without the added pressure of exes being invited too! I think as long as the couple have discussed it and have both agreed that they are comfortable with it, then there is no problem!”
Dos and Don’ts
- Do invite your ex with a guest
- Don’t spend a long time chatting with your ex
- Do sit your ex with people he or she gets on with
- Don’t dance with your ex
- Do take control of the situation and keep your h2b as busy as possible!
- Don’t introduce them to people as your ‘ex’
After deciding the guest list, you might come across some more little dilemmas in your wedding planning, but have no fear – we can help! From other small dilemmas like who you should make a bridesmaid, or over-involved parents, to tips to avoid stress whilst organising the table plan, we’ve got everything you need right here.