Are you worrying about how everyone you know will fit into your wedding? You are not alone. For many couples, the wedding guest list can churn up all sorts of dilemmas, awkward conversations and family tensions.

guest list dilemmas


Common Wedding Guest List Dilemmas and how to Solve Them

When it comes to your wedding guest list, balancing relationships, budget and venue capacity can prove to be a tricky task. With the help of Tavistock Relationships, offering training and research in therapeutic and psycho-educational approaches to support couples. We’ve got a few suggestions to help make the process easier.

Couples face many challenges when they begin wedding planning and a major cause of anxiety can be deciding who’s coming, and who isn’t. This is just the scenario where poor communication can cause anxiety and create further problems. Tavistock Relationships encourage couples to talk through these big decisions.

When creating your guest list, try not to get too overwhelmed. The amount of planning required may make it seem easier to elope, especially with the average wedding costing £30,000. It is important to stay focused on what the day means to you. If you have tried to solve your dilemmas with reasonable strategies or if your needs are being compromised perhaps a big wedding is not right for you.

6 Common Wedding Guest List Problems and how to Solve Them

Wedding Guest List Dilemma: Who’s paying?

Your guest list may be dictated by who’s paying for the wedding. If your parents or future in laws are footing the bill it is only reasonable that they may want to invite friends and acquaintances too. However, if you and your fiancée are funding the big dayit is advisable to share the guest list equally between you both. It is important to still include your parents so to keep everyone happy why not compromise and allocate a few spaces on your guest list for their suggestions.

guest list dilemmas

Wedding Guest List Dilemma: Plus ones 

You will not be able to please everyone and deciding who to leave off the list is tricky. With your extended families invited the spaces for friends and plus ones may be limited. You need to make sure your guest list is representative of the most important people in both of your lives, this may mean setting some boundaries together and negotiating. Why not consider each plus one on an individual basis.

Guest List Dilemma: Evening guests

Don’t feel obliged to say yes to everyone as this is not practical. If you want more people to be included in your special day you could invite some friends as evening guests. It is advisable to send out separate invitations to them with details of the celebrations.

guest list dilemmas

Wedding Guest List Dilemma: Family tensions

Weddings bring together guests from all aspects of your lives. The gathering of family members can result in tension. To help things run smoothly when sending out invitations you could acknowledge they may be uncomfortable but you would appreciate their presence. On the other hand, you could inform family members of who has been invited before-hand so no one is surprised when they arrive.

Guest List Dilemma: Seating plans

 Alongside a guest list you will have a seating plan to consider. A little thoughtfulness about positions at the reception will you and your guests from unnecessary tension and will ensure everyone enjoys a more relaxing meal. If this is getting too complicated why not consider a buffet at the reception so guests feel able to move between groups.

guest list dilemmas

Wedding Guest Lists for Same Sex Weddings

There may need to be some extra considerations. For example, working out how to accommodate two ‘mothers of the bride’ or adapt traditions to suit you both. However, the principles remain the same. Communication is key and talking with your partner to work out everyone’s roles is crucial.

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