To Wed at Home or Away? Our Deputy Editor Becci decides…
Deputy Editor Becci opens up about her dilemma of whether to marry at home or away…
As sun worshippers, we have both imagined a wedding abroad – with the sea in sight, beautiful blue skies and a warm breeze to take the edge off the heat.
Holidays are also some of the most treasured times for us, especially when you get to spend time relaxing with your loved ones. Having enjoying holidays together for years, we both feel that having our wedding ceremony in a relaxed, informal atmosphere would be perfect – not forgetting the fun we would have leading up to the day with friends and family on this most special of holidays.
As brilliant as it sounds and as beautiful as I know it would be, actually being in the daunting position of making wedding-related decisions means I am now finding that there are so many other things to consider when deciding where to wed, beyond whether the sun will come out or not.
When you think about the logistics it seems that the dream could easily turn into a nightmare. Who on our guest list will be willing to pay for flights as well as accommodation? Not to mention taking the extra time off of work. And, although we would be more than happy for our guests to holiday with us before and after the big day, perhaps they might not want to. After all it would be us that choose the destination, area and hotel that we would be staying in and for all we know they might have no inclination to holiday there.
On the other hand though, we know that both sets of our parents, siblings and our closest friends would certainly come, and we think we would prefer a more intimate ceremony – neither of us particularly like to be in the spotlight – where we can open up completely without feeling uncomfortable.
Another thing that I keep coming back to is that I would love the process of finding all of the details to decorate out wedding reception with. From the flowers to the cake and the confetti to the plates… But marrying abroad will mean that I won’t be able to see the items first hand in advance. I’m quite particular, some might say a perfectionist… which seems inevitable seeing as all day, every day I read about, look at and talk about weddings. This could pose more of a problem than perhaps even I realise. I’m also quite creative so I would like to put a personal stamp on the day, which could be trickier abroad.
The solution seems to be to marry abroad and enjoy a big celebration with all of our friends and family when we return. This way we could have the best of both, with an intimate ceremony overlooking the ocean and a wedding reception decked out in all its glory when we return.
And then creeps in the third dilemma – the dreaded budget. We all have one, whatever size it might be. Choosing this compromise between celebrating in the UK and abroad means we would pretty much be paying for two weddings, which our budget won’t cover.
It also throws up a fourth concern. I don’t want anyone to think badly of us for having such lavish plans. Having spoken about this with my sister and friends who have all said “it’s your day, do what you want to – you don’t want to regret it”, I probably needn’t worry about this as the people we invite wouldn’t criticise or judge us, but while we are still undecided it is playing on my mind.
The hardest part is that nearly every other decision you make is dependent on the venue that you choose. I think once we have chosen a country the rest will come easily – we hope!