“Occasionally, there’s a disappointing tendency to think of ushers as the male add-ons at a wedding,” says Andrew Shanahan from top groom website Staggered.
“We think this is the wrong way of looking at things. The usher is still a position of great responsibility and if your friend has asked you to play the part, you should give it your best shot. To help, we’ve put together a checklist of mistakes that you should avoid while going about your ushering duties!”
Thinking you have nothing to do
Piffle. You have one of the most important jobs going: supporting the groom. If you’ve been a groom yourself then you’ll know the stress the big day puts on a man. Your main job as an usher is to reduce that stress. During the planning phase, organise a regular get-together, whether it’s a weekly squash game or a monthly beer session – let him vent. On the day, take as many of the boring tasks (driving elderly relatives, handing out service sheets, etc) off his hands as you can.
Being jealous of the best man
C’mon, seriously? What are we, eight? Do we really want to live in a world where a groom ends up with seven best men because he can’t tell his mates that he’s slightly closer to one of them than the others? If you’re feeling blue, console yourself with this thought: the groom wanted you as the best man, but his bride-to-be nixed it. You’re too wild to be trusted, and she insisted on the safe pair of hands for the responsibilities of the best man.
Considering the bridesmaids your personal harem
Weddings have one obvious bonus for single men: they make women desperate. Weddings are a point where women take stock of their romantic life and in many cases this leads to a crisis and a wholesale lowering of standards. Naturally, you want to be there when that happens. However, just because you’re an usher and she’s a bridesmaid it doesn’t automatically follow that you’re a couple. By all means play along with the pretense, but don’t make assumptions.