It’s your day, your way, as we get ready to bust some traditional wedding myths!

traditional-wedding-myths-we-bust-the-myths-of-wedding-traditionsThe groom’s best man has to be male

Are you fretting over choosing that one special fella? Well panic not! “Times are changing and the trend for women to take on the role of best man, or for a groom to have two best men, is increasing,” says celebrity wedding planner, Liz Taylor at The Taylor Lynn Corporation. “I recently organised a wedding where the groom had three best men – his three brothers – and the bride was given away by her mother. The sentiment was just as special as they respected traditions, but the ceremony was updated and personalised specifically to reflect that couple’s family life.

The same goes for the bridesmaids, too. If your best friend is a man, there’s no rule that says your can’t have a male bridesman! You also shouldn’t rule out inviting male friends to the hen party. The most important thing to remember is that your wedding is your day, and you should be surrounded by people you love, regardless of their gender.

You need to grow your hair before the big day

Style Director at HOB Salons in Camden, Andrea Martinelli, believes that short or cropped styles can be just as beautiful as long locks. “Once upon a time it was all about long, simple tresses, but these days the modern bride is experimenting with something a little different and working with a variety of lengths,” says Andrea. Rather than growing your mane (and risking nasty split ends!) focus on boosting condition by eating well, having regular trims and indulging in oodles of gloss-giving treatments. “For shorter wedding hair, simply moving your parting can update your look or why not embrace the vintage trend with classic finger waves? It’s a catwalk look that’s perfect for shorter-haired brides,” says Andrea. You’ll want to look like you on your big day, so if you like it short, keep it that way!

traditional-wedding-myths-we-bust-the-myths-of-wedding-traditions-The bride has to wear a long veil

Feel swamped by chapel styles and fabulous fountains? Wearing a wedding veil is not obligatory! “It is your day, so never be told that you ‘should’ wear a veil if it doesn’t suit your personal style,” says newlywed Catherine Burke. “I tried on countless lengths and they just didn’t seem right for me, so instead I asked a jeweller to mount one of my Grandma’s vintage brooches onto a thin silver Alice band, which everyone complimented me on.” Feeling inspired? Play dress up until you find a look that makes you feel amazing – tiaras, flower wreaths, fascinators and hats all make stylish veil alternatives, and they can be much cheaper, too.

You have to plan separate hen and stag parties

Does the prospect of donning L-plates at a roller disco while your fiancé swills beer at a lap dancing bar sound like hell? Then why not have a joint celebration?! Consider your ‘hag’ do as a big pre-wedding party with all your friends. “All that ‘last night of freedom’ stuff seemed a bit like enforced fun, so rather than forking out on two different weekends, we’ve chosen to have all our friends pile in together,” says soon-to-be-wed Paula Bullin. “Pooling our cash means we’re able to rent stunning country cottages rather than budget hotels and our days will be filled with campfires, pub lunches and walks in the fresh air, which is more appealing than the usual hen and stag carnage!”


  1. Great advice as always. I like the bit about the groom having three best men and the bride being given away by her mother. Just goes to show that it’s your day and you should do it your way x

  2. I’m breaking many traditions; no veil for me, flip flops all day, we’re having a Victoria sponge instead of a wedding cake. Me and h2b will be seeing each other before the wedding. Groomsmen are all wearing shorts. no table plan, it will be free seating and a hog roast. I’m not having a proper bouquet I will be getting a bunch of whatever flowers are at the farmers market the morning of the wedding and just trying them together. No something new/old/borrowed and blue. We’re not superstitious at all no we don’t think anything will bring bad luck. I think a wedding should showcase who you are as a couple sticking to too many traditions ends up taking away from that sometimes.

    • Emma that sounds like it’s going to be quite a day! We all love wearing flip flops to, and we love the idea of no table plan – it sorts out any seating worries you may have beforehand.

      By not having one though, do you think you might find people sticking together in their normal groups rather than mixing together like weddings are famed for?

      • I see your point with the table plan but I really think it depends on the wedding we are having a small wedding with 24 people family and close friends many of whom have meet at some point. so I’m not to concerned. It would be a different story if it was a large wedding tho. We are getting hitched in Portugal and people are arriving 2 days before so we have arranged for everyone to have a causal dinner out the night before so people will get the chance to mingle with anyone they aren’t familiar with then.
        Oh and another broken tradition we’re not having a professional photographer we have asked all our guests to bring their cameras and the next day we are going to transfer all the pics to our laptop. This way the majority of the photos will be candid and fun and we get to see the whole day thru the eyes of our treasured guests. 🙂

  3. Surely traditions were made to be broken?! That said, some of the wedding traditions are lovely (like asking for Dad’s permission and staying away from each other the night before).

  4. I think we are breaking quite a few. No traditional cake (h2b’s mother is making his favourite cake and my mother is making mine), no long dress, no long veil (I’m making it). Also no real flowers (I’ve made the bouquet and buttonholes from felt/buttons). We aren’t having a sit down meal, we are having a BBQ dinner with paella in the evening. There are 3 best men and 2 bridesmaids and I have orange shoes 🙂

  5. In the past there were always more than one groomsman, but as weddings became pared down in the 20thc to just one. they were there to protect the groom from being vulnerable to evil spirits at a momentous life change, same reason for bridesmaids and cans on vehicles

    We’ve just got married i had my god daughters as bridesmaids, no seating plan, grew my flowers etc. I did wear my mums veil but from the back, not over my face, as it suited my dress

  6. We had a HAG do on Friday 13th just gone. I had male friends I wanted to be there & my fiance had female friends so it was only natural for us.

  7. My closest girlfriends and my future sister-in-law and niece will be my bridesmaids, but one of my best friends is male. So he is going to be my best man! He’ll take on all the traditional best man roles, except for me, not my h2b. I think it’s great that these days you don’t have to stick to tradition, and you can have as much or as little wedding etiquette as you like. 🙂


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