You might be just about to get married, or just married, but what is it about married life that’s different? Here are 10 little things that change once you’ve said ‘I do’…
The most obvious one, but a big one. If you’re going with tradition and taking on your husband’s name, or even going for the double-barrelled surname, it’s undoubtedly going to be a bit of a shock to the system.
Even after changing your names on your passport, all your bank cards, and trying out a few signatures, you’ll still find yourself reverting back to the name you were brought up with. Oh, and you’ll definitely still get post through the door with your old name – including post from your own mother.
Okay, so we don’t mean your first name is changing (unless you really want to). We’re talking all those phrases like ‘husband’, ‘wife’, ‘Mr’ or ‘Mrs’! And let us tell you, the first time it’s said to you once you’ve said those precious words of ‘I do’, it comes as a bit of surprise… a nice surprise. If being introduced as Mr and Mrs as you walk into your wedding reception room doesn’t bring on the realisation that you’re officially married, we’re not sure what will.
Your sex life
Fear not! This doesn’t change for the worse. In fact, if it even changes at all, it’s only going to be better. Marriage knocks down any self-conscious or lacking-in-confidence barriers because it makes you realise how much he or she loves you just the way you are, meaning you can love yourself for who you are too (finally for some!).
Once you’re married, you’ll be more attracted to each other than ever – seriously! And do you know what that means? A saucy sex life! You’ll have no qualms about trying new things, and be unphased if it doesn’t go to plan.
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Once you’ve said ‘I do’, you’ll discover a new sense of commitment. Before marriage, ‘commitment’ was all about being faithful to each other, and if that failed, it would be a deal breaker. But once you’re married, staying faithful is kind of like a no-brainer – you know you want to be together for the rest of your life, and marriage makes that official.
So then, commitment turns into something new: commitment turns into a loyalty. You trust each other so much so that neither of you even have to think about the fact he’s going on a huge night out with the boys, or going on a work trip with only women in his office. You’re always there for each other, no matter what.
This goes the same for your priorities; your loyalty to your partner goes beyond even yourself. You’ll find yourself putting them before you, and them doing the same for you. From little things like ringing you in the middle of a day packed full of important meetings because you’re upset, to caring for you when you’re sick, to you pushing for their dreams and hopes even if it means you have to compromise on your own.
Why? Because their dreams are your dreams, and your dreams are theirs – they become shared. With married life, there comes lots of compromises! All in the name of making each other happy, eh.
While we’re talking about dreams, how about creating a marriage bucket list like this for when the honeymoon period wears off?
If you’re already married, or if you’re about to, you’ll find that you start spending money differently than ever before. Even in the months leading up to the wedding, the budget is a serious part of planning because you’ve got to be sensible. You can’t splash it all on one day when you’ve got the rest of your lives together to consider! Most couples opt for the shared bank account, which means no more lunch breaks or weekends in town splashing your cash on new clothes and shoes. Uh oh.
Secrets? What secrets? Once you’ve got hitched, the word ‘secrets’ isn’t even a word in your dictionary anymore. All your darkest and baddest habits have been revealed – your tendency to sneak in a spoonful (or four) of peanut butter when you think no one’s looking, his compulsion to pick his toenails and eat them (okay, gross – sorry!).
Sometimes, those shameful university tales of yours just kind of slip out without you meaning to… oops. And you can’t help but shed the light on embarrassing stories from when you were younger, in case, god forbid, someone else tells him before you. Better out than in, we suppose?
Back in the day, texting used to be such a drama. You’d have your friends around you, and your phone would ping: “Oh my god, he just said this. What should I say back? How long should I wait to reply? Do I play it cool?”.
But now? It’s easy. Your texts are to-the-point. “What shall we do tonight?” is a simple question that will get you an answer. There will be no sign of a winky face emoji to throw you off track, when all you wanted to know was what you’re having for dinner.
Your free time
At the beginning of your relationship, you probably spent a lot of your time thinking up fun things to do in the evenings and weekends, whether it was with them or not. If it wasn’t, you’d easily find some friends or family members to sort out something with. Things wouldn’t happen unless you organised it.
Once you’re married – and many of your friends are, too – it just becomes the norm that you will be hanging out with each other after work, or will be hanging out at the weekend, unless otherwise said. Note: ‘hanging out’ can, most definitely, mean doing absolutely nothing at all – but you are both more than happy with that fact.
Your sense of time
It’s funny because if you think about it, seven years in a relationship seems very different to seven years of marriage, doesn’t it? It seems longer. It’s kind of similar to the ‘what’s heavier – a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers’ question in this way. Why do you think it seems longer?
We think it’s because those first seven years are when you’re getting to know each other – when you’re figuring out whether or not they’re the one you want to get married to. For the latter seven years, the decision has been made. Time flies when you’re having fun!
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