Wedding planning can be stressful but fear not, we’re here to help! Expert life and confidence coach, Michele Paradise, is ready to answer your tricky wedding day dilemmas. Today we have a walking down the aisle question – can you relate to this?

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Dear Bridal Coach…

“I have a ‘walking down the aisle’ dilemma for you. When you have a dad and a stepdad, who do you choose and how do you keep everyone happy on the big day? I don’t want to make anyone feel left out. Please help as I’m finding it difficult to decide!”
Sharon Louise O’Donnell

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Michelle says…

Choose both! Yes, that’s what I said… Choose both and then everyone will be happy. If you have two wonderful male role models in your life like your father and stepfather then you are a very lucky girl.

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If they get on with each other, then you are in the perfect position to have both of them walk you up the aisle… One on each arm. Weddings are no longer constrained by tradition. In fact, it has become even more acceptable and enjoyable to personalise your wedding with little touches like who walks you up the aisle. I work with a lot of brides and more and more mothers walk their daughter up the aisle because the father is absent and she has become both the mother and father.

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The key to any wedding dilemma is communication. Unfortunately this is not always the first place that a person chooses to go. We fret and worry about what the answer will be without even asking it. We mind read what the other person will say before they’ve even said it and we are frequently wrong. And the biggest mistake we make is worrying about what other people might think.

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The beauty of weddings nowadays is that there are hardly any rules these days. Brides are wearing white, black, red or pink. Grooms have two best men and two best man speeches. Vows no longer follow a formula and we can write what we want in prose, poetry or a song. So take those two special men in your life out for a coffee, a drink or a meal and tell them that it would make you very happy to have both of them to walk you up the aisle.

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Present it in a positive and loving way and emphasize how important they both are to you and that you don’t want to choose. I’m sure they will be delighted to fulfill your wishes… It is your wedding, after all! If one of them refuses (which is highly unlikely), you can compromise by asking him to do a reading during the ceremony instead, to give him another important role in the day.

Have you got a question for Michele? Simply email rachelm@weddingideasmag.com and she could be helping you very soon! Did you know Michele used to be a top model before becoming a bridal coach and she is a great authority on posing and looking confident in front of the camera. She has now invented a brilliant new tool for brides – the posture wand – that will help you practise your perfect big day poses. Click here to find out how it can help you.

23 COMMENTS

  1. I’m walking down the aisle my myself,my dad passed away fourteen years ago 🙁 people have suggested I ask my brother or my eldest son but for me I feel so strongly that it would have been my dad’s role had he been here so don’t feel right having someone else do it.im going to have a picture of my dad attached to my flowers instead.x

  2. For personal reasons I won’t have parents with me on my wedding day. However my best friend who is more of a sister who has always been there since we were tiny is giving me away as well as being my MOH.

  3. Liza Juniper have a picture in a nice ornate frame held on by ribbon on your wrist of your Dad. Explain you still want him to walk you down even if it’s just in spirit. Your family will understand.

  4. I had both! The photographer did get confused when she asked for the father of the bride and MOH brought them both over and said ‘no one dad!’ to which I replied ‘no two, I’m greedy!’
    I think if like me you were brought up by both there is no harm in having both!

  5. You’re all right! It’s about what you want and not what everyone else wants at your wedding. It’s you and your partner’s special day and as long as you both agree on who walks you up the aisle, that’s all that matters. The most important thing to remember is to communicate your wishes to the people involved beforehand in a kind and considerate way so that no one’s feelings are hurt and there are no last minute dramas on your wedding day.

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