During the crazy wedding planning process, it’s easy to lose focus on the main reason why you’re getting married, your love and your relationship. So we’ve asked The Bridal Coach, Michele Paradise, to bring us  back to reality and help us focus on the things that really matter…


The spare part

I recently posted this tip of the day on my Facebook page… “Planning a wedding is great and very exciting but remember to focus on the relationship. Without it there won’t be a wedding!” and one of my male followers wrote: “Indeed… I felt like a spare part at my own wedding!”

Needless to say, I found this comment disturbing and it confirmed what many of us have known but don’t want to talk about. Many brides-to-be think it’s ‘their’ wedding and act accordingly. As The Bridal Coach I’m not interested in whether people like everything I say, I’m more interested in keeping it real, so here goes!

Back to square one

You’re embarking on one of the most important journeys of your life and you’ve chosen to do it with another person… a person that you love and loves you back. Not every guy is as interested in every last detail of the wedding as you are, but he would definitely like to be involved in some way. Nowadays, when most couples are paying for the wedding themselves, he’s financially committed already, so include him.

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I’ve spoken to many brides about this and they say that their fiancé does things differently than they do, but that doesn’t make it wrong, just different! I’m sure some of you have watched Don’t Tell The Bride and have seen that although the groom may be coming from a different perspective, he gets it right in the end (more often than not).

You’re better together

Your way may not always be the right way, especially if it’s not right for both of you.

Include him in the wedding planning from the start and find out what jobs he would like to do, no matter how large or small. Keep him involved!


The term ‘bridezilla’ exists for a reason.  Don’t become one!

50% of marriages end in divorce so start as you mean to go on and treat him as an equal.  Even if he doesn’t want to be involved in every decision, tell him what the decisions are so that he’s not surprised on the day.


Listen to each other

Respect the way that he accomplishes the task.

He may be slower or faster than you in his execution of the task, so let him do it his way.  You will get the result you want if you respect and support his way of working.

Share ideas

The only surprise that the groom really wants on the wedding day is how you look.

He needs to be included in everything else.  It’s all about how you present information to him.  Make it fun, make it enjoyable, make it personal to both of you.

Have fun

He doesn’t necessarily want or need all the detail that you do about the day.  Present the information to him in a short, concise way so that he gets the information he needs quickly and efficiently.  Less is more!

Keep it simple

If he has ideas of his own, listen to them, love them for 15 minutes and then see how you feel. We all want our ideas listened to and his wedding ideas are relevant, too.

To read more of Michelle’s top tips and wedding advice, visit The Bridal Coach.