Here’s the deal. You’ve chosen your bridesmaids to help you navigate the stormy waves of wedding planning and the wedding day itself. Your girls are there to support, help and generally make your whole wedding experience as easy as possible. Well, that’s the theory anyway. But what if your bridesmaid drops a bombshell before the big day? Here are some common dilemmas… and how to deal with them!

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I’m going to be pregnant on your wedding day

“If she’ll be showing by your wedding day, the dress you’ve chosen for her may not work,” says Carey Gordon from Bridesmaid.com. “If it’s already been bought, take it to a local seamstress ahead of the big day and ask about altering it. If you’re lucky enough not to have bought the bridesmaid dresses yet, then give your girlfriend a little more leeway and let her choose a similarly coloured dress that is specifically for maternity.”

Dessy have some great maternity bridesmaid dresses,” adds Carey. “Although the dress may not exactly match the others, if the colour is the same, nobody’s going to bat an eyelid.” Wedding Ideas award-winners twobirds Bridesmaid also have some super styles that can be adjusted to suit your bridesmaid’s growing figure.

I can’t afford to buy my bridesmaid dress

This is a tricky one. To be honest, you should probably be footing the bill for the bridesmaid dresses yourself – particularly if the dress is your choice and not theirs.

We asked our Facebook brides about what they thought and almost all of them agreed that if you ask somebody to be your bridesmaid, you should be paying for their dress.

However, if you really can’t afford to fork out for the bridesmaid dresses yourself, then you need to make some adjustments. For starters, don’t choose wildly expensive dresses that your girls will only wear once, try to choose a high street frock that your maids will be happy to wear again in the future.

I want to announce my engagement at your reception

We again turned to our trusty Facebook brides for this one and there were a lot of opinions about this…

“I’d find space for her boyfriend to come,” says Facebook friend Claire Louise. “But there would be no way she would be allowed to announce her engagement on my wedding day!”

Another real-life bride described the idea as “out of line and rude,” while another said, “if they’re planning on announcing their engagement at your wedding, then they should pay for half the costs of the party.” A joint wedding reception and engagement party, now that’s an idea that will slash the budget!

Never mind an engagement announcement – one bride said that a boyfriend actually proposed to one of her bridesmaids on their wedding day. That’s a bit of a scene stealer! But we’d like to know, how could you possibly prevent something like that from happening? Especially when it’s something that’s come out of the blue.

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Can I bring my new boyfriend?

This is a tricky one, especially when you’ve already planned the seating arrangements.

He could come along to the evening party,” says one of our Facebook brides. “But, to be honest, there’s not much point him being there during the day. She’s going to be so busy, she won’t have much time to talk to him.”

You can always organise a plan B in case this does happen. “All the bridesmaids have had a plus one invitation,” says a Facebook friend. “Just to cover the boyfriend issue.”

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Can my friend be bridesmaid, too?

You’re bound to have some issues with your bridesmaids – it’s just part of life.

It’s probably best if you choose girls you’ve known for a while, so that you’ll know how they’ll react to certain situations.

Just because somebody’s your best friend, it doesn’t make her a good bridesmaid. If she’s notoriously scatty or a bit dreamy you might be better off choosing somebody else.

Sisters don’t always make the best bridesmaids, either. “My sister is now refusing to come to the whole day because she doesn’t like the colour scheme,” says real-life bride Jacqueline. “She won’t allow anyone to do her hair and make-up. I want a natural look and she likes fake tan and false eyelashes!”

So choose the right girls to start with and things are likely to run much more smoothly for you. Don’t be unreasonable with your requests and remember, your maids are doing you a big favour by supporting you in the build up to your big day and on the day itself.

Are you looking for more fab ideas for your favourite girls? Check out our amazing bridesmaid planning section today!

2 COMMENTS

  1. Excellent advice! Only choose your closest friends and allys, Never be pressured into asking a sister or friend because someone else thinks you should. After you have asked and they have accepted, simply go with the flow as to what comes up.
    I love the idea of choosing a color and having your bridesmaids choose a dress that suits their figure and their budget. The chances of them being able to wear the dress again is much higher too!

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