Top tips to help turn up the heat this Valentine’s Day or help your prepare for your wedding night.

Credit: Jonathan Borba via Unsplash

After months of planning and organising, along with plenty of tantrums and tears, your wedding day has finally arrived. But how do you make sure the spark of the day isn’t lost when you and your new partner are finally alone?

We’ve consulted We-Vibe‘s relationship expert and psychologist, Dr Becky Spelman, for her take on using sex toys to spice things up and tips on how to heat up your wedding night, Valentine’s Day or any day of the week, for that matter..

Should you invest in sex toys?

About 40% of Britons use sex toys, so there’s really no good reason to be coy or shy about owning one, using one, or wanting one. In fact, a sex toy can be a really great present for Valentine’s Day or to surprise your partner on your wedding night.

Who needs something cheesy like flowers, which inevitably wilt, or chocolate, which helps to pile on the pounds, when a sex toy is a cheeky gift that can bring literally hours of pleasure? Many couples with a healthy and vibrant sex life incorporate the use of toys into their intimate pleasure. There are, however, some things to bear in mind.

If you know, or suspect, that your partner might be a bit shy about the idea of using a toy, don’t surprise them on Valentine’s Day completely unaware; sound them out a little first and make sure that they are onboard with the idea. Also, maybe don’t present the gift in front of an assembly of family members. There’s obviously nothing to be embarrassed about when it comes to using sex toys, but that might be hard to remember when Great Aunt Mabel is examining the gift with prurient interest.

Tips to heat up your wedding night

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While some people may be feeling the pressure when it comes to their wedding night, or not wishing to conform to the commercialisation of Valentine’s Day, introducing a new sex toy on the night can be a fun way of making the occasion really special. However, it is important to put some thought into what sort of toy will work for you.

It is important to bear in mind that women frequently dislike the idea of sex being something that is “done to” them. Women generally prefer to know that they are equal partners in bed, as well as out. This means that it’s important to choose a sex toy that gives a lot of pleasure to the woman.

Attractive options include the Liberty vibrator by Womanizer, which makes it easier for her to reach orgasm using pleasure air technology—hopefully more than once, too! Other exciting possibilities include items from the We-vibe couples range, which offer pleasure to both the man and the woman at the same time.

As a species, we have evolved to be uniquely sexual. In most mammal species, females are only interested in sex when they are ovulating, while males are often uninterested unless they encounter an ovulating female. Human beings, instead, can be interested in sex at any time and at any age. Our creative minds have also made it possible for us to harness technology so that we can enjoy sex in a wide range of novel ways, too – so why not take advantage of it?

Here are some ideas that might make your wedding night even more exciting:

Try out a little role play

Assign roles to one another and arrange to meet at a bar or hotel. Stay in character as you “get to know” one another, get seductive, and finally end up between the sheets together. If you have a fantasy that you’ve kept to yourself, this might be the time to share it. Maybe your partner can make it come true this Valentine’s Day.

Set the tone with texts

Get in the mood by sending each other sexy texts throughout the day. Leave a little to the imagination; some carefully thought-out word play can be a lot more stimulating than boring old nude photos (which are definitely not suitable for work, in any case).

Amp up the romance

Surprise your loved one with some old-fashion corniness that will make them laugh and blush at the same time. Think a trail of rose petals to guide them to the bedroom, or – if you’re feeling particularly flush – hiring a string quartet to play romantic music.

Or make them giggle by buying a sex toy and presenting it as part of a bouquet of flowers.

More Wedding Night Tips

We consulted the experts at erotic lingerie brand Ann Summers to help you get in the mood for your wedding night and provide some more advice for amping up the passion on your big day.

Back off!

You might have had an amazing time with friends and family on the dance floor, but that’s exactly where they need to stay. Inviting guests back to your room is a guaranteed passion killer – you’ve waited all day for this, don’t let the party kill the mood. This is your wedding night, you don’t want to make your man wait a minute longer to get you out of that dress.

150-ann-summers-competitionSet the mood

Get the bathroom misty with a soapy shower or luxurious bubble bath; either one will get you in the mood for a hot and steamy wedding night. Light some candles, scatter rose petals, and get ready to release your inner minx. Team up a sensual night perfume with traditional white lingerie – tease that innocence you both know isn’t really there.


Use your first night as husband and wife to ramp up the passion and allow your curiosity to take over. Love and lust will be at their peak on your wedding day, so use that confidence boost to suggest something new. Start off your married life in charge with role play, or bondage. Indulge in new positions that you’ve been dying to try.

Ramp up the naughtiness and give your bae the ultimate ‘access all areas’ backstage pass with some erotic knickers. Crotchless styles are perfect for when you just can’t wait – or show off your best asset and encourage spanking with something bumless. At the end of the day, you just need to own it.


Get adventurous

There’s no limit to how wild you can go on your wedding night, so why not go shopping for some couple’s sex toys before the big day? If you’re stuck with where to start, try a bullet vibe. Both pocket-sized and powerful, it is the ultimate beginner’s toy. Add a little massage oil into the mix and use it to explore each other’s bodies, you’re guaranteed a night you’ll never forget.

Just relax

It’s easy to build up the tension before the wedding night but, at the end of a long day, it’s easy for it to end up as a bit of an anti-climax. Don’t pressure each other to make it the best night of your lives – if it happens, that’s amazing. If not, you have all the time in the world to have mind-blowing sex, so there’s really no rush. Don’t let it put a downer on the day.

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