GROOM SPEECH JOKES: How To Be Funny Without Resorting To Googled Gags

All wedding speeches should be funny, not just the best man’s. Here, the Speechy experts share their top groom speech jokes and comedy writing tips. Their advice ensures you’ll get your Mrs laughing, your father-in-law smiling and your friends weeing their pants…almost!

Groom Speech Jokes


The definition of a joke is ‘a thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter.’ This means your jokes shouldn’t make your guests groan. People don’t want to hear internet gags or wedding clichés (and if they do, they can wait for the best man).

The secret to nailing a great groom speech is creating original humour so concentrate on what makes your relationship with your bride unique. Between the two of you, we bet there’s plenty of quirky habits, eccentricities and general madness to exploit.


People relax once you’ve made them laugh so try to script a funny line within the first 20 seconds.

A good opener is something like ‘Can you believe it? (The Bride) has finally given up holding out for Ryan Gosling and decided a kebab-munching, golf-obsessed Project Manager from Basingstoke is a better option instead.’ It’s simple but it’s self-depreciating and consequently a bit charming too.

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Of course, the opening is just the first hurdle. Your speech needs to be peppered with humour throughout.

Groom Speech Jokes


  • Play with contrasts – is one of you obsessively tidy while the other can’t change the hoover bag? Does one of you balk at Primark prices and the other spends like a Kardashian? Couple contrasts always generates good material.
  • Tell us something we don’t know – Reveal something surprising. Nothing downright embarrassing but if your bride does a mean Gwyneth Paltrow impression or if she has a secret crush on Ed Balls, now might be the time to mention it. Maybe it was you who won the Butlins Talent Competition as a teenager. If so, perhaps your wedding is the second proudest moment in your life?!
  • Be the butt of the joke – Exaggerate your weaknesses. Are you the hapless DIY disaster who needs his wife to assemble the Billy bookcase? Are you the Star Wars obsessive still crying about his lightsaber collection being put in the loft? Play with your character.
  • Don’t pretend your bride is a princess – recognising the quirky things that makes your bride unique is not only a great source of comedy, it also shows you ‘get her’. For example ‘I love that you still wear rabbit slippers even though you’re thirty. I love that you do a Zumba class and then spend the evening eating Doritos. I love that you can talk convincingly about any subject despite knowing very little about it. And I love that you can understand the manufacturing process that results in a t-shirt costing over £80.’ You get the idea. People love observational humour and your guests will love it if you manage to nail your bride’s personality.
Groom Speech Jokes



  • Keep your speech, stories and jokes concise. Everything is better shorter. No one ever listened to a wedding speech and said ‘If only it was longer.’
  • Remember that a lot of humour relies on timing. Think about your pacing, where to pause and film yourself on your phone as you rehearse. See what works and what doesn’t. You’ve still got time to change it.
  • Remember to leave room for laughter when you deliver your speech on the day. There’s no point spending ages crafting comedy and then delivering your speech so quickly people don’t have time to get the joke.


  • Don’t feel you need to go for the belly-laughs. That pressure is on the best man. You’re aim is to get everyone smiling and loving your speech.
  • Don’t forget to make the thank yous funny. An example might be ‘I’d like to thank my mother in law for passing on such wonderful traits to her daughter; her kindness, her humour, though unfortunately an unwavering support for West Ham has also slipped down the genetic line.’
  • Don’t forget the most important thing is paying a suitable and loving tribute to your bride. Forget about being funny here and just be incredibly thoughtful instead.

Speechy is the one-stop-shop for all your wedding speech needs. Whether it’s a template or a bespoke speech you’re after, Speechy can help you craft an awesome speech!