How To Be The Maid Of Honour Every Bride Dreams of!
Newsflash! When someone asks you to be their maid Of honour (MOH), they’re not really asking at all. Everybody knows: what the bride wants, she gets – and she wants you. Whether or not you are delighted, overwhelmed or terrified, there is no getting out of this one, MOH – you are in it for the long run.
Be the best maid of honour EVER by smashing the ultimate MOH duties list created by guest writer and real MOH, Stephanie Cvetkovic from Expert Home Tips
Shadow the bride
You will soon find out that, as MOH, you are expected to do all the things the bride does, without actually getting to be the bride.
Venue viewings, wedding dress shopping and cake tasting (this one isn’t actually too bad) – all of these occasions you are expected to be available for.
Prepare to take the odd day off
Yes really – spend Saturday nights in making wedding invites, and do it all with a smile as wide as your cheeks will stretch. As MOH, you need to be wherever the bride needs you to be whenever she needs you to be there – let’s just hope you’ve still got some holiday time to use up.
Plan the mother of ALL hen dos
Even the most unexperienced maid of honour knows about the hen do.
Far from the themed straws, pink tutus and naked butlers you’re used to seeing in chick flicks, one hen do does definitely not fit all – just ask the bride. Each bride is unique, and her hen do should be too. The easiest way to stay on track when it comes to planning an amazing hen do is to stick to your guns – don’t get too caught up everyone else’s ideas initially.
Always remember – the bride chose you because she thinks you know her. Consider what she likes, loves and loathes, and create a day, weekend or short break focussed around such things. If you’re feeling overwhelmed – and who can really blame you – remember the Bride To Be is going to be surrounded by her favourite people. This alone guarantees a pretty good time, whether you’re sat watching Bridesmaid’s in a country cottage or dancing the night away at Coachella.
Give honest advice on even the smallest decision
No doubt you and the bride to be are used to talking a lot – expect communication to at least triple once you’re her MOH.
Pinterest – or bridal spam, as I like to call it – will take.over.your.life. Those notifications come in thick and fast, so prepare to be on standby to “ooh,” “aah,” and give opinions 24/7.
Most importantly? Make them honest. One of the reasons the bride has selected you and you as MOH is because she thinks she can trust you – prove her right by ensuring she doesn’t end up walking down the aisle in the poufy pink Princess dress she thinks she’s fallen in love with on Pinterest.
Help find the dream dress
Let’s face it, decisions don’t come bigger than the wedding dress. As the most important dress they’ll ever wear, getting it right is a big deal. While some brides end up in the kind of dress they’ve always dreamed of, for others, wedding dress shopping is more of a ‘journey’ – a journey which the maid of honour must travel with them.
The maid of honours role with regards to ‘finding the one’ varies from bride to bride. In general, though, it’s offering honest advice, whilst simultaneously always agreeing with the bride. You will understandably want your best friend to look her most beautiful on her big day, however, she must also feel her most beautiful. We all have our own ideas of what makes the perfect wedding dress. Don’t try and push your vision onto the bride with too many suggestions or strong opinions.
Provide emotional support
If you’ve been a bride, or know someone that’s been a bride, you’ll know that weddings change people. From the moment the bride gets over the size – or lack of – of her ring, it’s all go. Church or converted barn? Ivory or white? To invite or not to invite the cousins – throw the family and all their opinions into the mix and it all starts to get a little much.
The bride may struggle to hold it all together, and when she does, the maid of honour and her 24/7 emotional support helpline are vital. However silly or insignificant the problem in question may seem to your sane self, be equipped to wipe tears, reassure, and occasionally join in on a marathon moaning session about the unreasonableness of family. She’ll love you for it, promise.
The wedding day itself might be beautiful, but the planning process can be far from it. Differences of opinion from various family members, uncooperative venders and bolshy bridesmaids can make things far from harmonious.
Your role as MOH is to help make things as easy as possible for the bride to be, and sometimes that means getting involved when you’d rather not. If you can see something is really bothering her, it might be worth stepping in and having a word with the offender in question to help calm the waters.
Be excitable & get involved
Perhaps the most important quality of a maid of honour – embrace it! Who knows when you might get the chance to be a bride’s second lady again?
A great MOH is excitable, enthusiastic, and gets involved at every opportunity. She sends pictures of potential bridesmaid dresses as well as receiving them, hypes up the Hens, and, essentially, slaps a smile on her face even when the bride goes totally bridezilla – yes, it really does (and will) happen.
Roles on the the big day
You Maid it! Your role as MOH is by no means over however – in fact, it’s really only just begun. Continue your maid of honour prowess by doing the following on the day…
Step in as wedding planner extraordinaire
Unless your bride has forked out on a wedding planner, making sure the day runs smoothly is sort of now your role too.
Although officially a guest, as we know, the MOH is so much more than that. You should be on the ball every second of the day to make sure everything is perfect and painless for the bride and groom. This involves everything from pestering the caterers for more canapés to taking control of any bridal make up emergencies!
Don’t be intimidated – most things on the big day should run smoothly enough, especially with your eagle eye.
Be with her every step of the way
On the big day itself, the maid of honour’s role basically revolves around stalking the hell out of the bride.
Until late into the evening reception – when you can finally let your hair down – wherever she goes, you go. Your job is to make sure she looks perfect, acting as a ‘shelf’ and being her personal assistant whenever required. Arranging the veil and train, holding her champagne and of course, accompanying her to the toilet and holding her dress are all MOH duties on the big day.
Just take care not to become clingy. The trick is to be there, without really being there – it’s her big day after all.
Play the part
Finally, time for some recognition! Being maid of honour is a pretty big deal, and you can show off a little by embracing your role as MOH fully.
Be confident and a key face of the day by welcome guest with smiles and introductions, encouraging people onto the dancefloor and generally being a socialite from day to night.
If you’re feeling really brave, you may consider a dance with the best man during the first-dance sequence, or perhaps even a maid of honour speech – just be sure to speak to bride first.