So you’re getting married, congratulations. As groom you now need to make a decision that in terms of importance ranks up there with how much time and worry the bride applies to choosing her dress… Who will be you best man?

Now while it might seem like a simple question to some (“It’ll be my best friend/brother”) you have to consider exactly how much you can rely on that person. If the answer is “Probably not much actually” then it’s time to give him The Best Man Commandments as laid out by the stag party specialists.

best man commandments

These are the list of rules that all best men should commit to in order to protect the groom and give him piece of mind during the build up to the big day, stag weekend and perhaps most importantly during the best man speech.

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The Best Man Commandments

Continue reading below…

Thou shalt not refuse the post of best man on the grounds that “Spurs are playing that weekend”.

Thou shalt continue to be an outlet for me whenever my intended is going full “Bridezilla” and help us both to remember why we’re getting married in the first place.

Thou shalt arrange a legendary stag weekend and bring the groom home in one piece.

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Thou shalt not let anything happen to the groom during the stag weekend. This includes but is not exclusive to the addition or loss of; Tattoos, Bruises, Limbs, Eyebrows, Beard/moustache, Hair, Additional wife/s

Thou shalt not at any point leave me alone and defenceless with “Shagger Harris” or any other stags who can’t be trusted during the stag weekend.

Thou shalt not refer to any of my ex-girlfriends during your best man speech.

Thou shalt not refer to any of your ex-girlfriends during your best man speech.

Thou shalt not swear during your best man speech.

Thou shalt not say anything during your speech that might result in me spending the first night of married life in the doghouse/spare room.

Thou shalt get me to the church on time, wearing matching socks, the correct tie and suit.

Thou shalt not let me get carried away and attempt to breakdance at the wedding reception.

Thou shalt not keep referring to my wedding day as “The execution.”

If you can look your best man in the eye and be 100% sure that he will adhere to all the commandments, then you’re in business and you should have a happy and incident free wedding day ahead of you. At the very least you’ll have the correct wingman at your side should there be any need for someone to step in and sort things out on your behalf.

However, if you look your best man in the eye and all you can detect is a hint of mischief/deceit/revenge then you might well have just picked the wrong man for the job. Although it could make the stag party more interesting…

Whoever you decide make sure they understand the best commandments and agree to stick to every last one (unless you really feel the need to breakdance).

Good luck grooms! – You can find more essential best man and stag party tips and advice at