Your wedding day is one of the biggest moments of your whole life, and if there is anyone that is just as excited about this day as you and your h2b, it’s your mum.
The mother of the bride or groom can be a huge help, but also can take YOUR wedding a bit far. Here are just a few things to not say to keep the peace and keep stress-free throughout your planning…
You can’t attend the hen party
So your ideal view may be a big night out with your favourite girls where it will most likely get a little ‘messy’, shall we say – but what about your mother, or your mother-in-law? There’s no doubt that both mums will be playing a part in your wedding that is far more than just a guest, so they should be allowed, or at least asked to get involved with the hen party fun, too.
Whilst they might not be too excited about the prospect of a boozy night out in your town’s local nightclub, if they want to get involved, arrange something a little more mother-friendly, like a spa day or afternoon tea session before you head out.
So you’ll pay for this, right?
Sometimes, couples’ parents are generous enough to pay a little bit towards to the wedding in some form – whether handing over a certain amount, or saying they’ll pay for a certain aspect of the big day. However, this is something you most definitely CANNOT just assume.
Don’t start wedding planning based on the presumption that your parents will hand over the cash to pay for that expensive six-piece band you’ve got your eye on, just so your wedding receipt takes less of a toll on your own wallet. Things like this shouldn’t be a demand or an order – you should consider anything you get a generous gift!
You are not wearing THAT
You’re sitting at work and an email notification pops up: it’s from your mum and the email subject reads ‘Dress for your wedding!!!’. You click on the link and it takes you to a dress that clashes horrendously with your bridesmaids. This is where you have to hold back and not let that bridezilla take over. Whilst it may clash with the bridesmaids – aka potentially ruin the group photography shots – you’ve never actually specified what colours she can or can’t wear.
She’s clearly excited about the dress, don’t shut her down because you can’t stand the thought of bright red and yellow standing so close to each other. Be considerate, and if it really is that bad, suggest a shopping trip to find something a little more suitable in your eyes.
Thanks but no thanks
Weddings do tend to bring out the sentimental and nostalgic side to people. Mothers of the bride and mothers in law reminisce on their big days, and want to make sure you have the most special day you can. It’s not uncommon for mothers to dig out their own wedding veils, accessories, and so on to offer you as a bride on your wedding day.
Sometimes these are great – I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of vintage? But sometimes, they just don’t work with what you’re wearing, or what you’ve got planned. Make sure you appreciate what they are doing or giving you, even if you don’t wear it.
I’m not a child anymore!
Like we just said, weddings are emotion-filled occasions. It’s a huge moment in your life, so expect your mum and dad to be there overlooking the whole wedding planning process, as well as be extra teary when the day actually comes around.
You may find the constant comments and criticisms coming from your groom’s mum via email, text, or in conversation over dinner, extremely annoying – not to mention pressurizing – but they are only coming with the goodness of her heart. As much as you want to say “I’m not a child anymore!”, you are still their baby in their eyes! Let them have their moment, for a bit at least…
Whose wedding is this!?
Both sets of parents want you and your h2b to have the most special day possible, and the mums may think that they’re organisational skills and sudden knowledge of modern weddings to be super useful to you, and kind of start to take over. Mumzilla mode is far from unheard of in the wedding planning world – sometimes it even gets to a point when it’s as if they’re planning their own wedding, a second time around.
Whether they’re trying to take over the wedding tasks, make you choose the dress that they prefer, or invited their neighbours who you’ve never met – keep calm, and talk it out… calmly. Like, really calm.
The overall message is just that – no matter how much something is getting to you, remember to keep calm at all times. Mums aren’t there to intentionally annoy you, avoid any arguments or added stress by sitting down and talking it out, set the boundaries and make sure you both know where you stand!