The moment you think your wedding planning and your wedding day is going smoothly can quickly be ruined by something said to you, or something you overhear…

“I’m getting an invitation, right?”

Once you’re engaged, you’re both bound to hear a series of questions from everyone that you tell, possibly including the assumption that their invitations are in the post. Excuse me, how long have I known you exactly?

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“Well, if you’re happy with it…”

The wedding dress shopping day is a fun day for you and your entourage. What better than a day of trying on pretty dresses and people telling you how lovely you look in them? When you find your perfect choice, the last thing you want to hear is negativity…

“I can’t believe you got him to settle down!”

From your point of view, what’s in your groom’s past, should stay in your groom’s past. Anyone acting surprised that he’s actually settling down and getting married is going to make it sound worse than it was. Awkward smile time.

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“I’m not wearing this”

Bridesmaids complaining is one of the most annoying things that brides have to deal with, let alone on the morning of her wedding! How sure the bridesmaid is that the dress has changed shape since the most recent fitting a few weeks ago might lead you to imagining that pretty bow belt wrapped around her neck – and not in a fashion statement way.

“You look… okay”

The morning of your wedding day should be the time when you feel your most beautiful. You’re wearing a totally glam white dress, accessorising however you want, and you’ve got people fussing over your hair and make up. It’s definitely not the time for hesitations or doubtful-sounding comments on how you look.

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“We lost the groom”

We’ve all seen The Hangover movies and can laugh away at it, sitting there and knowing that it isn’t us that it’s happening to. The groomsmen confessing they’ve somehow lost the groom will seem less hilarious if it ends up happening on your special day. Um, have you checked the roof?

“Who forgot to put the flowers in water?”

Oh lovely, a day decorated with withering and dying plants – fab. After all that time picking a colour scheme, finding flowers to match that colour scheme, and picking your faves – they’re gone, and no amount of water or plant food can change that.

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“I brought a couple of friends along”

The time you spent slaving over the guest list and table plan probably isn’t something you look back on positively during your whole time of wedding planning, and for someone to turn up with a ‘couple of friends’ totally unannounced is not okay. No matter how much they insist that sliding around the table will be fine, it’s not.

“Can’t wait to see how many Facebook likes that gets!”

The moment you hear this statement – after requesting on the invitations, Facebook event, and the signs placed all around the venue that this is to be an UNPLUGGED wedding, – your blood will start to boil. The big wedding dress reveal on the world of social media: ruined.

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“Um, these vegetables are cold”

One of many common, and super annoying wedding guest complaints, coming from guests that don’t appreciate the time, effort and amount of people there to care for. Our word of advice? Ignore things like this, and enjoy yours special day, (even your cold carrots!).

“Oops, red wine spillage”

So you’re sitting and having a huge catch up with your friend from secondary school that you haven’t seen for a while, when suddenly you hear the guy behind you saying ‘Oops’. No, no, no – someone get a bottle of white wine, and get it now! The dress and my wedding-dress-sorrows need attending to, and white wine’s the only way…

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“Krrrrkch”

Picture this bridal nightmare scenario: You’re throwing outrageous shapes on the dancefloor, having a the best end to the best day, and then you hear it – “krrrrkch”. You look down to see your wedding dress has ripped up the hem, and there’s a little more leg on show than you wanted. Do you reckon I pull this off?

We do hope none of these happen to you! And what about these text messages that no bride-to-be EVER wants to receive?

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