The promises you make to one another on your wedding day are very special and very important. Some couples like to write their own wedding vows and when you think about how serious these words are it can feel a little bit scary.

But if you think about it, you’re going to spend the rest of your life with the person you love best in the world, you’re going to be there for one another and that’s what marriage is all about. We’ve drawn up a handy list of things to say when you’re preparing your wedding vows to say on your big occasion…

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I will… accept that we are different people

Although you might be joined at the hip, there are going to be times when both of you might have habits that drive each other up the wall. Remember that both of you will irritate the other at some point.

It might drive you mad that your new husband never puts his dirty plate in the dishwasher but leaves it on the side, thinking that it is going to magic itself into the machine. On the other hand, he might not be too keen on your habit of singing along to the radio first thing in the morning.

I will… not let small things become big things

Our advice is don’t sweat the small stuff. If he never puts the toilet seat down just let it go… save any battles you’re going to have for the big stuff that matters.

Ignore the small, unimportant things even if you do find them annoying or you’re at risk of turning into a nag.

I will… keep talking

In our view, communication is one of the most beautiful words in the English language. If you don’t talk to each other, small matters can outgrow their significance and you’re at a risk of misunderstanding one another.

If you’re unhappy about something, don’t sit silently and sulk. Talk about what’s bothering you and clear the air. Be prepared to listen to him, too – communication isn’t a one way street, you both need to be talking.

I will… give you room to breathe

Much as you love being together, it’s important that you also have some time apart from one another with your own friends. Let him have a night out with the boys and you have your nights out with the girls, too.

There are bound to be some interests you don’t share – maybe you like going to motor racing about as much as he likes shoe shopping. Have time apart every now and then … and just think of the reunion you’ll enjoy afterwards.

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I will… keep my sense of humour

Laughter is one item that underpins many a successful marriage. Keep your sense of the ridiculous and find things funny.

If you send him out to do the weekly shop and he comes back with a load of bargains that you don’t want and a crate of beer, then don’t strangle him. Laugh it off. You need to be able to share a giggle together.

I will… discuss money

Did you know that money is the biggest source of arguments for couples? If one of you is a big spender and the other a saver then you need to find some middle ground.

You probably had to set a budget before your wedding day which should have stood you in good stead and set a few ground rules. It’s important that you discuss finances together.

I will… always listen to you

We’ve all been with people who don’t listen and it’s a very annoying habit. So even if your spouse is talking about something that is of absolutely no interest to you whatsoever you still need to listen and respect his interests.

Try to support his hobbies even if you don’t share them, let him take control of the remote and you’ll find that he’ll very likely ask more about your activities and interests.

I will… talk about having children

Hopefully you’ll both have agreed on whether or not you have children long before you get engaged because trust us, you really need to be on the same page on this one. Having children is going to impact on your careers, how you handle childcare, what car you drive and where you live. Talk about this in advance and try to agree on a few points beforehand.

wedding vows

I will… learn to kiss and make up

It’s inevitable that the two of you will have arguments and disputes from time to time and in a way that’s good, because it means you’re communicating.

Don’t let an argument fester on. Don’t be afraid of being the first to say you’re sorry, even if you know you’re right. Try to talk it out and make up – you’re a team and you need to play together.

I will… never forget how wonderful you are

You married your new husband because you simply didn’t want to spend the rest of your life without him in it.

That’s something to remember when he rings you at 3am asking you to pick him up from his friend’s house. Or when he’s used the last of the milk so you can’t have your early morning cup of tea the way you like it.

Just think back to your wedding day and the look in his eyes when you said your vows to one another.

If you’re looking for more inspiration, our Wedding Readings and Speeches section has got some more great ideas for you!

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