The wedding guest list - How to cut the numbers

Are you struggling to cut numbers on your guest list ahead of your 
big day? Almost all couples go through the dilemma of who to ask and why when planning their list as it's almost impossible to invite everyone. Here’s how these four real brides did it!

“We had a small ceremony but a big evening do" - Stephanie and Simon cut costs by adding 100 guests to their evening reception!

“Simon and I originally booked a bigger wedding venue, but as time passed, we began to worry that a large ceremony and reception would feel too impersonal. So, instead, we decided to have a small daytime celebration followed by a big, fun, fancy dress party for the evening do.

We wanted to do something fun and a bit different, and the cost had some influence, too; we didn’t want to start married life in debt. Drawing up the guest list was tricky, especially because I have a large family, but we limited the daytime celebrations to just 30 close relatives and friends. We explained that the fancy dress party was the most important thing for us, and everyone understood.

The wedding ceremony and wedding breakfast were really intimate, and we got to speak to everyone properly. We invited a further 100 guests to the evening celebration, so we still got to spend our special day with everyone we wanted.

And by limiting our numbers for the most expensive part of the day, we managed to stick to our original wedding budget of just £5,000.” - Stephanie and Simon Noble

"We got married abroad" - Hannah and Matthew travelled to Italy to have a beautiful wedding abroad…

“Matthew and I had always wanted a small wedding where we could enjoy spending time with every guest, but because we have so many good friends, we knew that if we got married in the UK, it would end up being very big – and very expensive. So to keep our wedding intimate and the standards high, we decided to have our wedding abroad in Italy.

Before we even looked at wedding venues, we asked our close relatives and friends if they would be able to come. Then, once we knew roughly how many guests we’d have, we contacted wedding planners tuscan-dreams.com, who suggested a number of venues in Italy for our big day. We settled on Villa Gambassi in Tuscany: the perfect location not just for our wedding, but also for a fantastic holiday with friends and family.

Of the 48 people we invited, 13 couldn’t make it, but fortunately, our immediate family and best friends all came. We loved the fact that we didn’t just have one day together, but a whole week – it was far more than just a wedding. Although we missed our friends that weren’t there, we still have amazing memories of our special day that we’ll treasure forever.” - Hannah and Matthew Tonks

“We only invited close friends and family” - Emma and Shane had to make some unwanted cuts for their small wedding

“Shane and I were originally planning a big white wedding, but when we found out I was pregnant, we decided to bring it forward so we’d be married before the baby was born. Our budget took a huge cut; we switched from a church wedding with a lavish reception to a registry office with a reception at our local pub, and we had to reduce our guest list from 160 people to 40.

We cut our guest list down to our immediate family and a few close friends, saving around £3,000! It wasn’t easy; we had to make some unwanted cuts, and had already told some of those people to expect an invitation. But as it turned out, a small wedding suited us down to the ground.

The registry office was cosy and welcoming, and our wedding reception was laid back and relaxed. We got to spend quality time with our nearest and dearest and it was a perfect day. All that really mattered to us was that we were married – not how many guests we had, or how much money we’d spent.” - Emma and Shane Wilcock

“We had a child-free wedding” - Fiona and Andrew had no guests under 16

“We knew right from the start that we didn’t want a cast of thousands at our wedding. We could have filled the wedding venue with distant relatives who we hadn’t seen for years, but it was more important just to have the special people in our lives there.

To cut our guest list, we decided not to invite under 16s to our wedding, especially as several of our friends and relatives have children we’d never even met.

I put a note in with the invitations explaining that because of numbers, we weren’t inviting children, and said we’d understand if people couldn’t come as a result, but no one turned us down – most were more than happy to have a child-free day.

We saved 20 places and around £300 by not inviting kids, which meant we could afford to invite more friends. It also meant we didn’t have to worry about babies crying or waiters tripping over children.

It made for a calm, civilised, grown-up occasion, and I would absolutely do the same again.” - Fiona and Andrew Moss

The etiquette expert says...

“If you’re having to limit your numbers, be polite and honest and explain that you’re restricted by the size of your wedding venue. If you’ve decided not to invite a certain group of people, such as children, stick to that policy; you’re more likely to cause offence if you start bending the rules for some people.

Above all, remember that it’s your day, and no one should question your decisions: if they do, they’re being rude, not you.” William Hanson, Etiquette Consultant at williamhanson.co.uk

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